In conversation do we sometimes pay more attention to what words mean than how they mean? In any conversation if each party could be guaranteed clarity and honesty (and by honesty I don’t really mean a lack of deception - more like how courtesies and politeness can cloud the intended message or mask a tension) then most things would run more smoothly. Could it be that the difference in disconnected conversation - those seemingly unsatisfying at conclusion - lays between what is ‘At’ the surface and what is ‘In’ side and how it relates to the ‘tention’ at hand? There is a need to go beyond the surface and pay attention to the intention.

Most talk is ubiquitous and filters into the air around us. However some of it doesn’t. The reasons for disconnect in talk are many (way many) but can fall in two great big categories; I don’t want to/know how to say this, and I don’t want to/know how to hear this.

It’s not that paying attention to the words spoken or, as the speaker, the impact these particular words may have is not important, it is. We just may or may not be equipped to deal with it. More often than not the person expressing is not aware of how the intention may be defined.

Remember that, as a sender, we hear ourselves speak but cannot hear the other person hear.

Here’s the point. Words are a tool. If you are the earth understand what a shovel means to you. A lobster; boiling water. If you are a daffodil understand the sun and rain (and the annual American Cancer Society fundraiser).

So now you know that being a daffodil is more complex than being the earth. Speaking and hearing; talking and listening - even more so . . .

Jim
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