Toni Reece

 

As coaches we use our coaching skills to weave in and out of very tricky situations that can arise when working with a team or working one to one. Over the last twenty years of coaching I have dealt with very difficult and aggressive people.  I have used the tools and resources that I have gathered over the years to minimize confrontations and calm people down.  Now, I wasn’t great at it in the early days, but I have gotten better as the years have gone by.   As a coach you have to work very hard at not taking things personally and keep the focus on the client or teams always understanding that it isn’t about you but it is about them. 

 

We know this as coaches, right?  And we (if we are good) handle ourselves and others with the right amount of empathy and professionalism.  But what happens when you meet people who are not simply stuck in a bad situation or have had their hands tied with unrealistic expectations that cause them to be a bit grumpy? What if they aren’t grumpy but just downright mean?   What is a coach to do?  Do you work with that person, do you excuse yourself as their coach, and do you excuse them from the team?  What is a coach to do?

 

The dictionary defines the word “mean” as “. . . having or showing an ignoble lack of honor or morality”.  As coaches we have to define our own value system, our own integrity and what we will accept or not accept when it comes to our values and integrity.  

 

This past week I met with someone who wanted me to work with him and his team.  In the course of the conversation he asked me what I brought to the table, I told him that I bring the PEOPLE part to the team.   My experience is coaching and working with teams on the systems that support employee performance.  I stated that a team/company might have the best product, best marketing strategy, mission and vision, however, if the PEOPLE systems are not working then the rest will be negatively affected.   His response – “I do not subscribe that PEOPLE are important in a company or a team, I don’t care about the PEOPLE, and I only care about how the company is making money.”   Wow.

 

I tried to state my case differently explaining again that you might think you have the best processes in place but there are PEOPLE behind most processes and if those PEOPLE are experiencing barriers, such as communication, leadership, conflict, trust, teambuilding and lack of problem solving skills (just as examples) then the balance is off and your systems are in effect NOT that good.  His reply was, “Nope. Again, people are not part of the equation of the business or team success, they come and go and I don’t care if they are successful or not.”  He actually called the leaders who run the companies his agency supports “morons” that do not know how to run a business and that is why they need him and his team.  

 

WOW!  Remember the definition “. . . having or showing an ignoble lack of honor or morality” 

 

As a coach, and a business owner myself, I was appalled by this meanness of this person’s view of the human part of business.    After he threw up all of his ideas (not a bad visual) about work and what is important he did state that he would want to see if we could work something out. Maybe he could find clients that MIGHT be interested in the power of the person as a contributor to corporate success.  The dilemma for me - do I use my coaching skills to facilitate this conversation for further discovery of potential work or move on.  

 

Was my desire to make a “buck” going to be bigger than my desire to stay true to my values and integrity?  Do I want to be associated with his brand of organizational success? I can only imagine the introductions created by this joker. Or do I just dismiss him as mean realizing it is not about me - but about him. In other words just get over him and move forward?

 

I packed my stuff, thanked him for his time and that of his team, and simply stated that the meeting was over. If I was coaching him perhaps a different ending but I had no intention of working with anyone who philosophically did not believe in the power of the human being.  He sat there stunned and I walked out with my head held high!

 

toni@thepeopleacademyinc.com