What have you done with your life? Where have you been and what have you experienced? The answers to these questions form the core of who you are. Taking that core and exposing it to people is how you can build rapport and solve problems. Identifying those problems/challenges starts with getting a good picture of what you really want.

On a talk radio show was a guest who was talking about ’star’ quality and what that means. It is how you present yourself as a celebrity. Now this isn’t like, I want to be Paris Hilton, and I am presenting myself as a spoiled brat, so you better treat me right. It’s about having ‘presence’ and an attractor factor as Joe Vitale would say.

The best way to do this is talking autobiographically. Talk about events in your past and relate them to the point you are trying to make. It’s an allegory, just like Aesop used to tell in Aesop’s fables. You know, the tortoise and the hare, etc, etc. The thing is, some of your experiences don’t seem that interesting to you, but to someone else they may be so far removed from their experiences, that they become interesting.

And we all have this. Even some mundane event in your life is fascinating to someone from another country or even another socio-economic section of our society. I talk to people all the time who have never left their own home town/county/state. What do you think my observations on Germany might be like to them? They are a glimpse of something completely alien to their life. Even something as simple as drinking beer mixed with cola. In Germany they call that a diesel (at least where I lived) and it is a corruption of good beer in one opinion, but in another opinion it’s just a sweet low alcohol drink that also contains caffeine. (You can try this with a light ale - ratio 2 parts ale to one part cola - maybe you would like it.)

So we all have these experiences in our lives that are unique to us and an insight to others. These are what we bring to the table. You may have years worth of running heavy equipment, doing,blue collar work or some other physical labor type of work or you may have a college degree and worked in corporate America, or been a successful (or unsuccessful) entrepreneur.

The point of it all is, what do you have to offer to people you talk to? What experiences do you take as boring or mundane which may be really insightful to someone else?  You have a unique place in the world with unique experiences, no matter who or what you are. Speaking to people, whether one on one or from a stage is all about relationships. Being a star or being someone that other people are attracted to is all about that.

Being attractive means engagement. It means empathy. It means relationships.  It all ties back to that radio show for me. Unique Selling Proposition. How unique we all are. How much each of us has to offer. How our experiences shape us and how that can help you discover what good looks like. That’s not just a phrase, it is an extremely powerful starting point to getting to where you want to be and figuring out strategies to overcome obstacles that are in your path.

But the first step to all that is figuring out what your goals are. That may seem like child’s play, but do you really have set goals? ”I want to get rich and retire and travel the world” might be an interesting idea, but there aren’t specifics there. How do you get rich, what does ‘rich’ mean? I want to make $300,000 by January of next year, is a goal. Now what is the plan to acheive that? What are, as I just said, the obstacles that stand in your path?

How does being charismatic impact that plan? Can you attract the right customers? Can you talk to customers and relate to them? Do they need what you have to sell, or are you being a pushy sales person?

That last question should be looked at carefully. If you can sell something to someone isn’t connected at all to if they need what you have. If they need what you have the sales process is a much easier thing. If you were knocking on someone’s door, what would make you feel more at ease, holding a vacuum cleaner, or a bagful of money? Which one would be easier to get rid of, and what sort of pressure would be off of you if you knew that the person wanted a vacuum as much  as they’d like a bag of money?

Your dreams, goals, plans and experience all make up who you are. Representing yourself as a genuine person, and having a bonefide plan will benefit you greatly in the long run.

Rob Britt

http://www.robertbritt.com

Http://www.ThePeopleAcademyInc.com

Twitter: RobertB1963